Past Fetish
posted on: 29/07/2026
I recovered my google account that i was using in my high school days, the photos and vidoes of that time got stuck in that and for a very long time I wanted to recover that back. However i had an idea of what was there inside it, because i think about it very often, and sometimes i obsesses over my past, those days were my prime, I was socially active, and i was perceived as some “big dawg” guy at the class, I atleast had a decent physique not soo fit.
I loved music and i took guitar classes, I thought id be a musician/pop star like Justin Bieber. That was the time I discovered a bunch of music that were niche in India.
• Stairway to heaven - Led Zeppelin
• Hotel California - Eagles
• November rain - Guns N Roses
• Sweet child o mine - Guns N Roses
• While my guitar gently weeps - The Beatles
• Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
And the list goes on, I am truly fascinated by the fact that I’ve discovered these music and these artists in 2017 that was way before the brain rot social media algorithm existed. And GOD forbid I found out internet archive, everyday after school I'd dig inside the archives to find some music sheet, I didn't know any musical theory still don't but I loved to collect antique, old stuff from the archives and pinterest. I was passionated, ambitious and disciplined. Today I can barely move, both mentally and physically. What a disgrace have I done to myself. The past obsession is one of the worst sufferings, imagine being betrayed by none other than the whole self, imagine being in a cycle of a destructive routine - realisation - acceptance and getting back to the routine. Maybe is it the fight between the conscious vs subconscious?! I really don’t know. However I am the Man now that’s way ahead intellectually, ideologically comparing to the boy I used to be. Maybe as they say the more i started to know the less the life gets interesting?!. The memes and the internet culture that keeps me alive by end of the day. So fuck it we ball.
https://youtu.be/ZhjEaT8Dtk8?si=zBOBmjbwnHhqd76l ← back to notes